I can get boring only talking about my own stories, thoughts, and feelings. I posted a twenty-four hour story asking for others to share their stories about a time they were treated like an object that exists for the mere entertainment of others. So many people have important stories that need to be heard. It's almost as if everyone had the answer to my question at the tip of their tongues. It takes almost no recall at all, as many of us have an example from most days of our lives. It isn't just me complaining. There is a pervasive problem in our society in which people treat other people like they are objects.
- I honestly have only had enthusiastic sex with two men. In my 30 years of life, the rest were unwarranted, unconscious, or some awkward stage of adolescence. It makes me sad, every day.
- It's a usual thing if I can actually get myself out of the house. I walked across the street and a guy driving past yelled, "Excuse me, my dick just fell off!" I couldn't even look and kept walking. In the moment, when I'm faced with that, all I wanted/want to do is cry. I usually have headphones on for mostly that reason. To block everyone out. So I won't have to know what I'm being told/yelled at. It's so uncomfortable and that kind of energy makes me just want to disappear. It's so disgusting and I don't understand it. It's a continuous challenge learning to deal with that and it doesn't seem to get easier. It's so fucked up that women/people are treated this way.
- When I opened this account on Instagram, multiple guys at my job/gym that I didn't even know started talking to me, making references to my nudes on my account. These guys new my name, my activities, every social media and even opened another account with my photos for them to share. I had never paid attention to them. They didn't know how sensitive and smart I am, they didn't know how much I enjoy art or my problems or happiness. They just saw me as a sexual object for them to discuss and share. I can't help thinking of the classification they gave me and how wrong and empty it is.
- I was 10 years old, waiting for my ride to school. An older man walked by me and grabbed my ass, laughing, and kept walking. I was left there, cold, scared, confused and frozen. I couldn't move and I never told anyone anything because I was the one that felt gross, like I did something wrong. That was the first time I felt treated as an object for the entertainment of others.
- When I was just fifteen years old, I was sitting in a park with a friend, just talking, having ice cream. An old man sitting on a bench was masturbating at us. Just sitting there looking at us directly, masturbating at two kids in a sweaty, ugly, high school uniform.
- Once I was walking from uni on a lonely street, it was all sunny and nice. A man was walking in the opposite direction at me, looking at me, then walking towards me. We we came close he grabbed his penis, swept it at me, and said, "Thanks," in a horribly perverted and creepy voice.
- Just yesterday I was sitting at a bar with the friend of a guy I just met. He was telling me for five minutes how he would die for me, how I was amazing, how other girls (thinner) were not worth it because of her body...telling me how every aspect of my body was penetrative and how he would spend all his money on me (trying to impress me, ew). He kept doing that despite me clearly being uncomfortable and telling him to stop.
- I always get penis pictures and other shit only because I draw sensual and naked bodies.
- When I lived in Spain, it was a usual thing when guys in disco came to me and offered sex! I felt horrible and disgusted.
- About two jobs ago a woman wouldn't stop grabbing me and saying shit like she wanted me to give her a massage with a happy ending. I'd recoil and tell her to stop which made her laugh and grab me again. She was a friend of the owner and no one really believed me except the custodian of the building. It ended up being a few weeks of disassociating and ignoring it till I quit. I felt trapped.
- I'm one of those types of girls who grew up physically quite fast. Especially face-wise; when I was fourteen most people thought I was over twenty. When I was thirteen my mom took a few pictures of me with a professional camera and posted them on a modeling website, so my career took off. At fifteen I hit puberty and my hormones started to act up and, naturally, I gained weight, which wasn't helping my modeling job. My mother went crazy about it and for the future three years until I moved out, I was constantly bullied by my only family member. She would count the groceries in the fridge to make sure I didn't eat too much. She would check the trash to see if I ate sweet prohibited by her. She was making "fat tests," making me undress and see how fat I was and if I lost some weight. She told me all kinds of things like how no one needs such a fat cow like me and that by having cellulite I'm making her life miserable. This story wouldn't be so traumatic if all this hate and harassments wouldn't come from the one person who is supposed to love me for who I am and protect me from the world. Obviously it only pushed me into secretly eating more. Those years I felt like all of me is just a failing source of money for my mother. My body doesn't belong to me. I didn't want it. I hated myself. Now I'm twenty-one. I've changed a lot, but still fighting an eating disorder and trying to figure out how to love myself regardless of other's judgements. My mother has changed a lot too and we made peace. But I don't think I will ever be able to forget the way she treated me.
- one time I had sex with this photographer that I didn't even want his photos. When I was sleeping he took photos of me naked and when we stopped talking he uploaded on all his social media. I live in this small country where everybody knew me and he is from Argentina and lived in Dubai. All these people from his countries started saying sexist shit about me because I stopped talking to him (we weren't friends or anything). He tried to come to my house if I said anything to the police. I did go to the police anyways and they said I was irresponsible, having sex with a photographer. They declined my lawsuit. Seven months passed and a police officer took the lawsuit and processed him with prison. His friends are still saying things to me but he's never gonna do the same shit with a woman again.
- I was sexually abused for 6 years and later on raped. There was no drinking or drugs involved, just taken advantage of. Without these events I wouldn't be who I am and I honor them. However, it is a goal of mine to portray the body as a masterpiece of art as that is what it is. And our spirit is eternal as our bodies are decomposed to lakes, trees, dirt, start dust, flowers, and all.
- Once I was hanging out with a bunch of guys at a house and one of them had duct tape and starting tying my hands together and taped my mouth and stuff. I think he bound my legs as well. It was really funny to him and the other people in the room. I had suffered sexual abuse as a child and teen so I was terrified to say no and just let him do it. Nowadays I wishI would have spoken up or kicked him or something because that was severely inappropriate.
Today I came across a post written by a man which said something along the lines of, "Thankful for women who are all natural. None of that fake lips, ass, boobs stuff." I'M SO SORRY WE WERE RAISED WITH EXTREME AND UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO A HIGH RATE OF COSMETIC SURGERY IN ORDER TO LIVE UP TO THOSE AND NOW YOU'VE DECIDED TO HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF THIS AND THINK WE DO IT FOR YOUR APPROVAL. No. We are taught that our worth is ingrained in our cup size, our waist measurement, our ass girth. We are taught that we aren't valuable if we don't look a certain way. We are taught that we must change ourselves to match photoshopped images in order to be deserving of love and success. It goes so far beyond wanting to look pretty. How dare you shame women for these things. Oh okay I see, so you just want a perfect looking woman, but you want her to be all natural. Sure, no problem. Wait no I have a problem. We would all love to be born looking perfect (I mean, not really tho). That would be great, we could just do away with the whole beauty industry. Great, thanks, since you suggested we all be beautiful and natural, I'll let you figure that one out for us. How obtuse do you have to be? Fuck. Someone commented saying, "I've seen dolls that look better than women these days." Well...if a doll is what you want, a doll is what you shall have, sir. Although we all have preferences when it comes to partners, it's not okay to impose those preferences on everyone around you. I can imagine a woman with a breast augmentation reading that and potentially feeling bad about herself or feeling wrong. No girl, you aren't wrong. It's your body and who gives a fuck about this random person's opinion. I come across these types of comments frequently, especially with regards to body hair. I don't trim my pubic hair, shave my armpit hair, or *gasp* pluck my eyebrows, so I get a lot of men who think I'm waiting for them to strike up a conversation with me about it. Shocking, but I actually don't keep my body hair as a conversation piece or statement. I do it because I have no reason to do those things other than societal expectation. Anyway, some men (I'm not a man hater. It has been 100% men who make these comments. idk you tell me.) say things such as "more women should have natural body hair" and expect me to give them a yay-you're-a-feminist high five. I'm sorry, no. Damn, I'm not sorry but I've been trained to apologize before speaking. My response to them is, "More women should feel they have the ability to choose what to do with their body hair without anyone else feeling like they get an opinion about it." You don't gotta shame the women who shave in the process of conveying you like body hair. You also don't gotta convey that you like body hair to anyone not asking for your opinion. Which is everyone. Except MAYBE your romantic partner. But probably not. It's frustrating that the authors of these sentiments think they are somehow contributing to the feminist cause for praising the "natural" woman. I put "natural" in "quotations" because you don't magically become "unnatural" by having a medical procedure done or shaving your armpit. Does a knee replacement or hair cut make a woman unnatural? Then why does shaving pubic hair or having breast implants? To me an analogy to these statements is a man on the street yelling, "Hey, Sexy!" and then getting mad when you don't take it as a compliment. No, it isn't a compliment, it's harassment. No, it isn't feminism, it's misogyny. By offering your opinion on my body, even if you mean it in a positive way, you're perpetuating the concept that your opinion on my body matters and is valid. It isn't.
Here's your homework...the next time you're looking at a woman and have an opinion about her appearance, repeat this to yourself: "this person does not exist for my entertainment or to please me."